Introduction

Ten years ago, I probably wouldn't have thought anyone could be addicted to food. I was a skinny little thing who ate like a bird, and whatever calories I did consume, I ran off at track practice. But, it's been something I've struggled with for awhile now. At first, I only overate in social gatherings, but, after a while, I started to overeat alone. It's not just a psychological thing, either. Sometimes it's like my stomach is a bottomless pit. No matter how much I eat, I'm just not full. I could pretend like it's not a problem, but reality hits me right in the face every time I look in the mirror. Every calorie I consume, I can see bulging through my jeans. I'm getting tired of being the fat girl. I want to be that skinny girl from ten years ago. It's not just about vanity. I'm a nursing student, I know the kind of health problems I'm looking at in the future if I don't do something now. So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm declaring war on my food addiction. That was going to be part of the title of my blog, but it didn't fit. I'm going to update as much as I can. I can't promise to update every day, but I'll do it as much as possible. And, if anyone is out there reading, I'd love to hear from you as well. I know this is a topic many people can relate to.

So, here goes. I joined a gym. I've belonged to a gym in the past, but my visits eventually tapered off, until I was barely able to make it once a week. But, this time I'm definitely going to do it. The gym is the easy part. When I think about the other stuff I'm going to have to change (aka my diet), the gym is a piece of cake. Before working out today, I stepped on the scale for motivation. 184.2 lbs. Ugh! I shuddered. I reluctantly typed it into a weight tracker app. Then, I walked four miles on the treadmill. That wasn't so bad. It took me an hour.

The whole way home, I'm saying to myself, "I'm not going to snack, I'm not going to snack." But then when I got home, I changed it to "I'll snack, but it'll be healthy." I ate two clementines and one of those little cheeses that's wrapped in wax. Ok, that wasn't too bad. I have finals coming up this week, so I go downstairs to my room and get back to studying. I'm still hungry. Why am I still hungry? I take a handful of trail mix. Mmmm, that stuff is so good. I take another one and another one. Before I know it, I've consumed at least as many calories as I burned off at the gym. Uggh! Baby steps. That's what I have to think to myself to assuage the guilt. My baby step is going to the gym. And tomorrow's a new day.